Phantasm

Mass hysteria I’ve been whining about for a couple years now, explained much more concisely and eloquently than I could have!

The Honest Courtesan

There are no good numbers on where the problem exists in the first place.  –  Emily Deruy

Cyrano going to the MoonThe most fascinating and infuriating thing about belief is its ability to sustain itself by feeding on nothing other than pure faith.  No matter how little evidence there is for the existence of the cherished notion; no matter how egregiously it violates all the laws of nature, human behavior and math; no matter how ludicrous the very premise is; and no matter how many of its supporting tenets are debunked, the belief just keeps on going, held aloft by nothing other than the feelings it engenders in its adherents.  The “sex trafficking” cult is certainly no exception; its adherents gather together on lawns and highway ramps, engage in their sacred rituals like getting dressed and making paper airplanes, and mumble their profession of faith over and over again.  Cult leaders invent new…

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What’s wrong with this picture?

Wow, my story was from a totally different angle… but sounds really familiar, all the same! Thanks for writing it so explicitly and honestly, it made me feel less alone in my emotional wound-licking (lol half-hearted silly self-pity party). Would be interested to hear what you think of the SMART Recovery activities online (I’ve found it more helpful than most approaches) and how “gung-ho” you are for the 12 steps as the “one and only true way” or whether you’re a DIY mindful-reflection-and-rethinking-based holistic recovery geek like myself. ;->
Tho we should definitely not meet in person when either of us is struggling in recovery (or doing “fantastically well” for that matter either).

Okay, enough sleep-dep babbling. TX!

"Ravaged"

Here I am. Yep, that’s me in all my glory.

What a fine specimen!!!

As you can see I wasn’t having such a good day back then. This was me in 2008, while I was a guest of the Sheriff’s Bed & Breakfast. What a great place to detox, and it was the best in jailhouse cuisine and accommodations that crime can buy these days. What you cannot see is my broken hand from the night festivities of which I was kindly shackled from and given a three day, two nights, all inclusive vacation. I would like to take this opportunity tothank the kind citizens of Texas for their great hospitality and understanding with my insanity of the moment.

I did not always look, like this, angry, frustrated, very grumpy, and extremely resentful. The days that had led up this moment started many months before. Let me take you back to…

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A Writer’s Greatest Fear

This cuts straight to the heart of my Vocation-Existential “crisis” of the last couple of years, and Christa Wojo expresses it very eloquently! Hers is a blog I will definitely follow with interest in the months to come!

Christa Wojciechowski

A Writer's Greatest Fear

I’m still studying Of Human Bondage by William Somerset Maugham. As I said in my first article about the book, great writers are those who write stories that are relevant throughout time. They expose universal truths that apply to our lives no matter what century we live in. Of Human Bondage is full of such enduring revelations.

In the first part of the book, we witness the main character, Phillip, and his crisis of faith in God. At the next crossroad in the story, we see Phillip battling self-doubt.

After being fed up with a dreary accounting job, Phillip goes to Paris to become a painter. He does well, but never creates anything extraordinary. After the suicide of a classmate, who for all her passion for art was a lousy painter, Phillip reevaluates his reasons for becoming an artist. He wonders what his future will look like if he continues…

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2014 in review (site stats)

I’m really enjoying using WordPress.com to host my blog, for many reasons. One new reason is that, apparently, at the end of the year, they send us bloggers here a simple but colorful personalized “End of the Year” letter with information and interesting facts on what happened on my blog during the last year. Probably not too horribly interesting, unless you are considering switching to WordPress.com for its free blog hosting. Posted her for posterity.

Happy New Year, everyone!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,600 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 27 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Whore Goddesses

Concise, but well-researched commentary on the hierodule function of the fertile crescent’s sex goddesses!

The Honest Courtesan

The scientific mind is atrophied, and suffers under inherited cerebral weakness, when it comes in contact with the eternal woman—Astarte, Isis, Demeter, Aphrodite, and the last and greatest deity of all, the Virgin. –  Henry Adams

In ancient Rome today was Larentalia, the festival of an apotheosized courtesan named Acca Larentia; she was referred to as the “most noble whore” and was sometimes associated with Lupa, the she-wolf who nursed Romulus and Remus.  As I discussed in my column of November 3rd there were a number of Roman goddesses who were associated with prostitution; Bona Dea’s rituals included what we would now call “two-girl shows”, Flora’s involved public orgies, Fortuna Virilis was worshipped by dedicated acts of low-class prostitution in public baths, and Ceres and Isis allowed streetwalkers to entertain their clients in the temples.  But the most important Roman whore-goddess was of course Venus, goddess of love and…

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To All The Ho’s I Loved Before

Dedicated to Maryjane and NéNé

Non-existent in your memory will I forever remain, though
— Unless I return to the life that brought me so low —
Because you still live partway in the life of a ho,
I must learn to let you go.

“Pretty Woman” was our foe:
Those cruel Richard-Gere-savior illusions don’t exist on the street.
Me, I was just a tourist taking an idiotic leap,
Putting on your shoes in hopes of understanding your feet.
In my delusions, your hugs, your caresses were so sweet –
When we shared a bed, I’d pretend my ear could hear your heartbeat –
Instead, I satisfied myself with you painting my eyes, my lips, my cheeks –
Following behind in your path, sharing the dream that we would riches meet.
None of that would ever become real, though,
And all of that was long ago –
Because your present is still that of a ho,
I must learn to let you go.

I didn’t want us to fuck, just hoped we could make some trouble –
Share how we got into the Life, maybe pull some doubles –
If we found a rich trick I thought we could strip, make him pay to watch us cuddle –
Mostly what I hoped for was to be on your team in the pre-game huddle.
When I see you now from time to time, your face says you still endlessly struggle –
And even though I know when you read this it will likely make you mad –
When I remember how much the Life sucked, the only way I can feel for you is sad –
Despite me getting clean and leaving, I thought it wouldn’t be so bad –
To send you this message saying I will always hold a little hope that –
Someday you’ll find your way out of being the selfish men’s doormat.
Sorry if this embarrasses you, I just needed you to know –
That I miss us being friends, and that if I could I would show you that –
But for now I’ll just pretend that the street won’t kill you and that sometime soon you’ll grow –
Wings and fly out of the life that tore holes in each of our souls –
Each moment you stay, away any happiness flows.
There’s nothing I can do for you but send you these words from a distance though,
Because as long as you remain in the life of a ho,
I have only memories, I must let you go.

What can you do with a single shoe?

HarveyMilkStool, I thought of you today…

Flush Out The Most Dangerous Toxin Of All – Negativity

This is related to my last post about carrying the message, but this post is more concerned with flushing those who focus on “the mess instead of the message” from one’s life, and how to bring about a more solution-based positivity into your own life. Insightful, and integrates several common-sense ideas into an original post.

CEREBRATION

Energy is the single most important force that constitutes the universe and therefore, also the human existence. For me, energy symbolizes efficiency, ardor, vitality, potency and more than anything else – spirit. The gigantic universe that we all are a part of, consists of light and dark matter. In the same way our lives comprise of people – both positive and negative. Either way, they have an impact on us. Interesting thing is that people can lie, manipulate their ugly intentions with welcoming actions, can indulge in sugar coated sweet talk even though malice is what is inside them and yet their vibes don’t lie. Just don’t.  People may deceive us but their vibes don’t.

I recently came across this really interesting term – ‘Energy Vampires.’ What it signifies is people who can be synonymous to vampires in draining you, except that they don’t drain out blood, they drain out…

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